Charles "Chuck" Abelson Retires!
Our friend and colleague "Chuck" Abelson retired
from Supreme Court - New York County - 60 Centre Street, November
18, 2004.
The Official Court Reporters of 60 Centre Street, at the
world famous Italian restaurant, Forlini's, held a gala retirement
party, in his honor.
The event was sold out in near-record time.
Daniel Olarnick and Terry-Ann Volberg acted as the master
and mistress of ceremonies.
Nelson Carlo, event coordinator.
"Chuck" retires to become a tennis instructor.
The full text of his retirement dinner is available upon
request, but here is a sample of the evening's festivities:
Welcoming address by Ross Upshaw.
Opening "Roast" by Daniel Olarnick.
"Carl Jung once said that if you do not honor these
pivotal events in your life, such as the retirement of friends
from the work place, these coming-of-age rituals, then you
do psychological damage to yourself. Lord knows that we have
immense psychological challenges just understanding those
New Rules that Mary and Ross explain to us each and every
Monday. The way to honor our friends who retire is through
ceremony. However, I say that the reason we subject our friends
to retirement roasts is because stoning is illegal.
So, I would like to call to order the official retirement
roast of Charles "Chuck" Abelson.
(The complete text is available upon request. However,
there were a few highlights that are simply well worth repeating:)
A CONGRATULATORY TELEGRARM FROM FUNG U, PROPRIETOR OF
HUNG FAT, CHUCK'S FAVORITE CHINESE RESTAURANT IN CHINA TOWN:
MASTER CHUCK: REMEMBER THESE ANCIENT CHINESE PROVERBS:
RETIREMENT AND VIRGINITY BOTH LIKE BUBBLE - ONE "PRICK"
ALL GONE.
MAN WITH HAND IN POCKET, FEEL COCKY ALL DAY.
FOOLISH MAN GIVE WIFE GRAND PIANO, WISE MAN GIVE WIFE
UPRIGHT ORGAN.
MAN WHO WALK THROUGH AIRPORT TURNSTILE SIDEWAYS GOING
TO BANGKOK.
BASEBALL IS WRONG, MAN WITH FOUR BALLS CANNOT WALK.
THE MOST IMPORTANT PROVERB OF ALL: MAN WHO FIGHT WITH
WIFE ALL DAY, GET NO PIECE AT NIGHT!
AFFECTIONATELY, FUNG U.
The Top 10 Reasons to Retire: By Eric Allen and Terry-Ann
Volberg.
***
I would now like to introduce our "Maestro" Alan
Bowin,
Lyricists, Nelson (Dorian Grey) Carlo and Terry-Ann Volberg
and our resident singing group The Mistrokes!
(Two Song parodies sung)!
James Alloca - A Dr. Seuss Poem!
Ted Lukew - Personal reflections of Chuck.
Retirement Survival Kit Presentation by Nelson Carlo,
Van Sedacca, produced by Terry-Ann Volberg and Dan Olarnick.
Gift Presentation by Ross and Mary on behalf of the office.
Speech from Chuck (The moment we all dread)!
All had a grand time.
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